God Blessed the Broken Road...

I feel like my blogs have been less than thought provoking lately. I was thinking about that while I was driving today. I have been blogging in such a hurry that there is no heart in it. I am going to try to do my best to go back to what this was originally intended for- a journal of thoughts. I will keep the happenings and pictures alive, too, dont you worry, I know youre addicted, Aunt Tara, Mom, Grammy, and the rest of you! :) Youre lucky I dont have that little thing on my blog that records the history of the people visiting. :)
My thoughts of the evening...

There was a time in my life when I would have thought that not having my toe nails done nicely was the end of the world. When I would have noticed that I had a stain on my shirt. When dragging a giraffe around me would have seemed ridiculous. When I would have actually brushed my hair to leave the house. There was a time in my life when I was anxious to go out and talk to people, when nine o'clock was when the night began, not when the night ended. When 7 o'clock meant nothing more than free nighttime minutes on my cell phone and wheel of fortune on the tv.
At one time in my life, I could carry my license and check card in my back pocket, grab my keys and go wherever life took me. When going to the grocery store could happen between 1 and 3pm, and when the world did not end because veggie booty spilled on the floor. There were days when all I worried about was me, days when I slept until 3pm, days that slipped away untouched.
There was a time in my life when I gave up on love. I sold myself short, and I settled for less than the best. There was a time when I didnt like myself, didnt love myself, and didnt think that I would ever accept myself.
There was a time in my life when getting married and having a child was a dream, and it still is- but this dream has come true.
There was a time in my life where I would have laughed if you told me that I would enjoy big wet sloppy sticky kisses. When I would have not understood the words "lalala" and "elbo" and when I would have gone to bed at night and never thought of waking until morning. When my day would have been complete without a monkey attached to me. When there wasnt someone watching my every move. When the wiggles werent my favorite band.
These days, I am lost without my shadow. I am lucky if my clothes are ironed. A shower is a moment of peace. Its not surprising to find a fruit snack stuck to my pants, or find a toy stuffed in my couch cushion. Its not out of the question to sing "pee pee in the potty" at least twice a day, or to translate a foreign language to the rest of the world. And thats okay by me.
Sometimes I think back to those old days, those supposed "good ol' days" and they are getting cloudier and more distant. And thats plenty okay too. Because time froze the minute that little girl entered my life. All of my yesterdays escaped my heart to make room for my tomorrows. And I know that thats why my yesterdays were there, and I know thats why they hurt and twisted my heart, and why they kept it warm. They were making room for this. For this minute, for this time in my life when I would need all of the room I could get for the enormous amount of love I have inside.

And Josh...oh, Josh. How could have ever been so lucky? There was a time when I would have settled for someone who was nice. Who was nice to me and liked me for me, and I got that, but I also got so much more. I got a best friend who knows what makes me tick, what makes me scream, and loves me despite all my faults. Who doesnt get mad when the socks arent matched and when the dishes are left in the dishwasher. I got someone who accepts my need for naps and who lets me have my time. I hit the jackpot. And I love them. Both of them. Completely and shamelessly.


"God Blessed the Broken Road" -Rascal Flatts
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you